Aunt Katherine...

My great aunt Katherine (my mother's aunt, is that a great aunt? I used to know these things. Wow, the things you forget, as an adult!) passed away a few days ago & I feel a bit sad. I haven't seen her in many years, but I still remember summer trips to visit her, my aunt Dorothy, Uncle Pete & Peter & how much I liked their home in Illinois. My brother & I would go out into their backyard & catch fireflies. Most of the time they made us set them free, but we where usually allowed to observe them for awhile first. Of course, we always had to put holes in the jar, so the fireflies could 'breathe.' This was fun for us, since where we lived, California & Arizona, there weren't any fireflies, so these where unusual & maybe even exotic creatures. They where beautiful, when they lit up, at least from a distance & the science geek in me loved seeing the process up close.
One of the best things about their home was a full sized world map that covered one entire wall. I loved looking at all the different countries & thinking about what it would be like to visit, what the different cultures & lands where like. I don't think my brother was quite as fascinated with this, as I was, but we where about as opposite as two kids can get. I found a lot of things in their home interesting. I guess it was a simple home, but they had many unusual knick knacks & features that made it beautiful, to me at least.
Their home was in Illinois & I found the fields beautiful. When we visited Chicago, even though I had seen large cities before (LA, San Diego, San Francisco...) it had a feel all it's own & truly earned it's "Windy City" nickname. I loved the artwork in Chicago & this was my first taste of modern outdoor art.
I loved visiting my aunts, uncle & cousin, even if they weren't exactly aunts, uncles or cousins, because they where kind & interesting people. They had a home & not just a house. A couple of weeks ago my mother called me to tell me that they had moved Aunt Katherine into a nursing home & they didn't expect her to live much longer. The other day, my mother called again to say that Aunt Katherine had passed away. Now that she's gone, there's only one member of their little group left & that makes me a little sad. SAM

The Good Old Days

The other day I read a random fact somewhere that made me stop & wonder. It basically stated, in statistical form, that women where happier back in the 'good old days,' when they stayed home than they are now when most work outside the home. It was concluded that there was less stress then, than there is now & so, women where happier. This made me think for several reasons. There are many stressors in our lives, some may have to do with work, but there are others. There's the stress of wondering how we can provide for our families, in a world where two incomes (sometimes more than two) are, more often than not, needed to keep our homes & to keep our families fed & clothed. There's the stress of being able to find a job, regardless of the amount of experience (& sometimes, in spite of our work experience) we may have, when few are hiring & even fewer are hiring beyond entry level positions. There may be the stress of not earning what we once did & our partners may not be earning what they once did. Stress may include...the list could go on & on, lack of insurance, health or dental issues. So, it seems that to say that simply being in the workplace is the difference between now & yesteryear, in terms of stress, may be a bit of a stretch.
The second reason that this statistic made me stop & think is that neither my mother, nor my grandmother where entirely "stay at home moms" & they weren't necessarily mavericks in this regard. During World War 2 many women went to work, to keep our factories going & to support the troops, in essence really, they kept our businesses alive. My grandmother, at one point in time had her own hair salon. She also helped my great grandfather with a motel that he owned. Later she worked, as a hairdresser in a number of other salons. My mother worked most of her life. Was she happy? Not necessarily, but was she less happy than other mothers who stayed at home? Also, not necessarily. Where we, as children less happy or well adjusted than other children? No, we fell among the norm. Where my mother & her mother before her, exceptions to the rule? No, they really weren't. Many women worked, even in their day. Many, if not most, of my friends had mother's who worked, at some point in their childhood.
There was no statistic, in what I was reading, as to whether or not men where happier in the 'good old days.' Maybe there should be. Maybe there is one. Job satisfaction would play a role, for men or women. I believe that my grandmother was happy, but she was doing something she loved. At any rate, I think this type of statistic has more than one interpretation & is less conclusive than it seems to be, on it's surface. What do you think? Are women less happy now? Is this simply an issue of stay at home vs. work outside the home? Would men be happier if they stayed at home? Is this even gender related? Is the statistic too broadly interpreted to be of any real use? There are many other stressors now, that may not have existed in the past, do these play a larger role than might be indicated in this one statistic? It definitely makes you think, which is a good thing. So, as they used to say on, I think it was "Saturday Night Live": "I'll give you a topic, Discuss" SAM